LOOK. WHERE. THEY'RE. GOING, I miiiiiight've walked off a cliff.
Here's the deal. I'm getting tired of constantly having to get out of everyone's way whenever I have to have the unfortunate task of leaving my house. Is it a power move? It's not just the phone distraction thing, either. It's a full-blown out-of-it-ness due to perhaps Xanax, lobotomies, mood disturbances, day dreaming, super-powerful edibles...most likely a mix of all of the above. Add the phone on top of it and it's a miracle the remaining 2% of us that can somehow walk in a straight line still manage to be alive.
Lately I'm all about "the endgame" with all sorts of aspects about life and I think what I'm going to start to do is just let the 98% of folks do their thing and completely bump into/hit/walk through me. This will happen again and again, until I am left to die underneath a pile of humans who couldn't be bothered to look the hell up.
Ok. That's a terrible endgame.
Perhaps I'll just start windmilling everywhere with both arms going haywire as a protective move. This would be awesome because I also have this bizarre, freakish double-jointed shoulder deal where I can actually make both arms go completely over my head while both hands are locked together. I can also do this with the individual limbs and if I work my endurance long enough, I might be able to get to a point where this is just default.
Imagine Townshead but BOTH arms flailing on an insane raven-haired chick.
Also, imagine the amount of calories I'd burn! My arms would be sick buff, dude.
But alas, I will inevitably hit a billion people and get sued a billion times.
Thus, in order to keep my survival in tact, I must be the one to move out of the way.
I'm wondering when it'll be my turn to not look where the hell I'm going! When is it Sharon's turn to bitch and whine and get offended by every single thing and also be that person that's becoming more and more prevalent on social media where they get angry not only at those who dare to disagree with them, but become venomous at those who AGREE with them?
Don't believe me? Oh, it'll be a phenomenon. It's part of the process where we're doing this whole Destroying-Ourselves business and we seem to really be into this business.
I'll save those musings for another time.
In the meantime please be an adult and look where the fuck you're going.
xo
