Nutshell My Shitshow

Guys! I need me an aggressive A-Line bob haircut and complicated Starbucks order, stat. I became that person who complained to a company today. Honestly, it takes a great deal for me to do this.

To start out my wondrous day, the ticket clerk "greeted" me with nothing more than a raised eyebrow and immediately demanded "I.D." I figure, eh, everyone has shit moods. I totally get it. But no eye contact during the whole transaction, no "thank you", even after I smiled to try to spread some warmth and goodness – the most I could muster up after 4 hours sleep and a dusting of a wine hangover in my icy cold soul and was nothing but polite to her. Or at least patient without a scowl on my face. Dammit, I didn't even get a grunt from her!

Like Stephanie from Full House, dude! How rude!

This was in the preferred/priority customer line, BTW. I wasn't in security yet where sadly we've all kind of become immune/numb to all sorts of exciting and fun, borderline verbal abuse. Yaaay!

It was a mix of this as well as the pretty much ghetto surroundings that is now Delta's terminal in LAX that sunk my shit mood further into the shit abyss. Trash everywhere, ripped-up/nasty carpet, and, if I do a quick math scan, roughly 50% less seating than needed for the sheer number of passengers. Total recipe for low-grade depression. And, yes, I can scan my ticket myself to board the plane myself with your scanner thing, Patty with Delta who I’m sure you’re a delight at holiday parties and make a mean sonofabitch of a chocolate chip cookie and such, but no need to be a glaring cee-word about it. I just thought you kinda did that occasionally, sorry.

I dunno. I guess what really bugs me about all this is because, to me, this represents a much, much bigger problem that seems to be becoming the "new normal" in our society. And I just can't fuckin’ deal. I can’t let it slide anymore as it gets to be more and more of a problem. I'm a simpleton who doesn't want to live in a society where we just treat each other and our surroundings like utter trash.

Anyhow, it would be crazy-easy to pass this emotional shit-show on to others but I didn't, and it was an internal fight, dude. It was a difficult fucking mindful ass-fuck of a choice because emotions are tough to control. They ARE! That’s why everyone’s fucked up. And we’re all expected to know it all too (but that’s another rant for another time).

I wanted to sulk. I wanted to “teach strangers a lesson”. But, no. I continued on the day and let people in in front of me; I smiled at people (not in a creepy way hopefully) and just overall tried my mindfully-mindful-mindfulness not to spread the bad-juju-shit-funk-whatever you want to call it further in this world that needs a ginormous hug.

This is simply an attempt to explain the sort of mental exercise I try to practice on almost a minute-by-minute basis in life without getting all weird or witchy or new-agey or racist or insane or eat-too-many-avocado-and-sprout-sandwiches-because-I-still-like-eating-like-an-vegetarian-grandmother-from-the-70s or whatever label I’m sure to get flung at me.

Oh!!! I almost forgot my point because I’m senile.

I decided to actually Facebook message Delta with my complaints today. Much less words than this, of course, duh, but I tried to Nutshell My Shitshow as politely yet firm as possible.

Delta gets back to me within hours, apologizes, wanted more details, and credited a great deal of miles to my account for the inconvenience.

It’s a small thing, and it’s all corporate, and everything is awful, guys…I know. I KNOW.

But *try* to hang in there. We’re going to need a truly special and patient and weird blend of wonderful type of person to get through this all.

I have no idea what’s going to happen and I apologize for writing the worst long-winded horrid Shel Silverstein story ever but I’m not sure what else to do except love.

Look Where You're Going

If someone took me aside when I was a tiny lil' tot, and told me that, in 2017, when I was an adult and had to navigate my brain and body through public places like grocery stores or airports; that about 98% of adults apparently were never taught to:

LOOK. WHERE. THEY'RE. GOING, I miiiiiight've walked off a cliff.

Here's the deal. I'm getting tired of constantly having to get out of everyone's way whenever I have to have the unfortunate task of leaving my house. Is it a power move? It's not just the phone distraction thing, either. It's a full-blown out-of-it-ness due to perhaps Xanax, lobotomies, mood disturbances, day dreaming, super-powerful edibles...most likely a mix of all of the above. Add the phone on top of it and it's a miracle the remaining 2% of us that can somehow walk in a straight line still manage to be alive.

Lately I'm all about "the endgame" with all sorts of aspects about life and I think what I'm going to start to do is just let the 98% of folks do their thing and completely bump into/hit/walk through me. This will happen again and again, until I am left to die underneath a pile of humans who couldn't be bothered to look the hell up.

Ok. That's a terrible endgame.

Perhaps I'll just start windmilling everywhere with both arms going haywire as a protective move. This would be awesome because I also have this bizarre, freakish double-jointed shoulder deal where I can actually make both arms go completely over my head while both hands are locked together. I can also do this with the individual limbs and if I work my endurance long enough, I might be able to get to a point where this is just default. 

Imagine Townshead but BOTH arms flailing on an insane raven-haired chick.

Also, imagine the amount of calories I'd burn! My arms would be sick buff, dude.

But alas, I will inevitably hit a billion people and get sued a billion times.

Thus, in order to keep my survival in tact, I must be the one to move out of the way.

I'm wondering when it'll be my turn to not look where the hell I'm going! When is it Sharon's turn to bitch and whine and get offended by every single thing and also be that person that's becoming more and more prevalent on social media where they get angry not only at those who dare to disagree with them, but become venomous at those who AGREE with them?

Don't believe me? Oh, it'll be a phenomenon. It's part of the process where we're doing this whole Destroying-Ourselves business and we seem to really be into this business.

I'll save those musings for another time.

In the meantime please be an adult and look where the fuck you're going.

xo